"What!? That's How This Movie Ends?!"

When you ask me if I've seen a certain movie, chances are, no, I have not.

Growing up, I went to see the requisite Disney films, and other childrens' movies, and life was simple. After church each Sunday evening, our family would rent a new National Geographic movie and learn about nature and stuff. When we got a little older, we'd watch movies that my parents watched growing up - so, I've seen things like The Sting, The Picture of Dorian Grey (freaked the CRAP outta me!), A Patch of Blue, Wait Until Dark (huh, we loved movies with blind people...) and lots of black and white movies. We also got to see The Exorcist, The Omen, and Rosemary's Baby once my parents knew we could handle the content, both maturity-wise and spiritually.

It wasn't until my teens that I realized that movies are kinda a big deal. I mean, I was aware of other movies being released while growing up - I vaguely recalled scenes of Wayne's World on TV before I actually watched it years later, I wondered who that mesmerizing guy was (Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison), knew that I should NEVER watch that Crow movie (now one of my top films), and was curious as to why Liv Tyler was holding back a bunch of sloppy-dressed teenagers. I went to the movies with friends every so often (Strike!, although now it's The Hairy Bird, Titanic, Varsity Blues, What Women Want...yeah, I know. It actually wasn't that bad!), but I never really strayed too deep into the "classics."

Fast-forward to my young adult life:

"Jenn, you've seen _____________, right?"

"No."

"WHAT?!"

"...but, I've been meaning to!"

Of course, OF COURSE, my fiance has seen every movie under the sun, and can quote all of them, too. Figures. So, you can imagine the conversations we sometimes have. Well, actually, lemme give you an example from this past weekend:

(we're driving back to his place, and Joy Division is on my iPod)

Jim: You know, this song would blend nicely into Transmission.

Jenn: The Tea Party song? How?

Jim: No, silly, the Joy Division one.

Jenn: ...oh, I've never heard it.

Jim: I'm pretty sure you have. It's in Control, that Joy Division movie we watched.

Jenn: I never watched that with you. You put it on, and I ended up falling asleep before Ian Curtis was out of school in the movie.

Jim: WHAT! Oh, we are SO watching it when we get home!

(fast-forward to us stopping at the grocery store - we're now talking about the novel On the Road by Jack Kerouac. I've been reading it for over a year because I hate it. I can't get myself involved in it, but I refuse to walk away from it - I can't complain about it if I haven't finished it. Plus, I'm hoping that everybody dies at the end, or at least gets their comeuppance)

Jenn: It's a stupid book! I barely recall anything from it, and I hate the Dean guy!

Jim: Yes, I agree, he's quite polarizing. But, you know Morrison was greatly inspired by that book.

Jenn: Yeah, that's why he made HWY.

Jim: And when he wanted to annoy people, he used the Dean laugh (Jim demonstrates this really high-pitched half-giggle, half-laugh)

Jenn: Ugh, stop it! Please!

Jim: And you know it inspired the film Easy Rider.

Jenn: The one with Jack Nicholson? Isn't that movie supposed to be, like, awesome?

Jim: It is awesome.

Jenn: Huh. Never watched it.

Jim: GASP! What! Ok, Control and Easy Rider, you're watching both tonight!

This is usually how I end up seeing movies.

Additionally, Jim had purchased X, so I watched a good portion of the life of Malcolm X. We had a good conversation due to that movie, but that's a sidenote.

It's not that I don't WANT to see these movies - I just don't have enough down time usually to make it any kind of priority.

SubPost:

My Review of Control - great movie! Apparently Sam Riley did a great job of portraying Ian Curtis. Flippin' sad story, though. I won't ruin it for you if you're not aware of Joy Division/Ian Curtis. Just watch it. (Not to brag, but Jim is a total smarty when it comes to music and music history. He told me that The Doors by Oliver Stone is a good movie, - and, he's right - but it's mostly based on the myth of Morrison, with a few factual parts here and there. He really enjoys Control, and since it's from the diaries Ian Curtis kept, it's pretty dang accurate.)

My Review of Easy Rider - Easy Rider is not an Easy Watch! Worth at least a viewing, but do it sober (I was, and I suggest you do the same). Won't lie, Peter Fonda is pretty foxy, so that's a bonus to the film. Nothing worse that watching a movie from a different decade, and there isn't one person that's at least mildly attractive! I'll ruin the film if I keep talking about it, so go see it if you haven't yet. Also, the music in it is pretty sweet, so another bonus for it. (Also, I had the same reaction watching Red Dawn. I thought it was a "typical" 80's movie-what the heck!?)

I really should make a list of films to see and keep it updated. For example, I'm totally going to see the film On the Road (yes, based on the novel!) because I wanna understand what the crap I'm reading, and possibly throw things at the screen when Dean shows up. I'm not seeing it for Kristen Stewart, I can tell you that!

...I wonder, did they ever make a film of 1984? I love that book...

Oh, they did.

Oh, they might again!

Blogging For Lazy People, Entry #1

Ok…I keep telling you I’m going to update this blog on a weekly basis, unless something comes up. And, yes, while I’ve had some weeks where I was just crazy busy, sleep should not be a weekly reason that I haven’t posted something on here!

So – after a lightning bolt hit my brain, I figured that since I’m crazy lazy (that’s got a nice ring to it… “Crazy Lazy”), I need to make a Blog Template, at least until I get on a more regular posting schedule.

So, for now, here are my topics:

Wedding Plans and Wedding Quote/Moment of the Week

Weight-Loss Adventure

My Journey to Toronto (this’ll be active for probably the next 2 months, at least until I move to the big TO for a new job/marriage)

Of course, I’ll have a life outside of these three topics, but those are the most “important” and “interesting” ones – I mean, I have a few good post ideas in my head (“Music Videos That Make Me Love the Song Even More,” “Birds Are Trying to Kill Me,” and many posts that could be classified under “Who Let Me Out in Public, Unattended?”). But, for the time being, I’ll use this template to ease myself into a more regular routine of blogging.

…oh, I should start NOW? Well, since I’m here, you make a good point!

Wedding Plans and Wedding Quote/Moment of the Week

Well, this week and a bit was QUITE an adventure! We lost (ahem, canceled) our contract with the original Reception venue, due to poor Customer Service. Long and short, the contact person would take up to a week to reply to either me or my fiance, and when we really needed her in crunch time, she just dropped the ball. She had a chance to redeem herself, but instead she chose to get snippy and defensive. So, buh-bye!

So, fiance and I were left with a smaller wedding budget, no Reception, and way too much stress. We tried a few options, but nothing really came together. While driving around the area near the church, we came across a hotel, and decided to stop in and ask a few questions.

Well, Miracle, Prayers Answered, Good Things Come To Those That Wait – the hotel was amazing, and the staff was wonderful! While they don’t have a room for a Reception with dancing and such, they suggested a nearby Legion. Now THAT is Customer Service!

We visited the Legion, and LOVED it – beautiful, inexpensive, and just perfect. When we went to book the date, however, we were told our wedding date wasn’t available. At this point, Jim and I have had enough – we’ve dealt with family and friend stress, workplace stress, financial stress, wedding-related and everyday-life related. We. Are. DONE. We go outside, and I call my parents. My Mum suggests a few dates that might work, all the while Jim and I are talking to each other, trying to get it all sorted out. I end the call with my Mum, and Jim and I try to keep breathing and stay clam. My Mum calls back about a minute later, and lets me know that a certain date will work, as we had thought my Dad would be working that date. Jim FLEW into the office of the Legion, and booked that date. We put a deposit down, and were giddy as school kids as we left. FINALLY! Something positive!!

Thankfully, none of our guests or family members have any major issues in making it to the new wedding date, and honestly, at this point, if they made a fuss, we could care less. We’ve put up with enough, and if you’re making a scene, you can leave! …or, rather, not show up.

So, now, we’re in the process of getting invites done up, and deciding on Reception décor. (The Legion has a disco ball, and I’m way more excited about that than I really should be…) FINALLY, it feels like we’re planning a wedding, and not some obligatory party to celebrate what should be the happiest day of our lives, but instead, we’re sucked dry of any joy the day would hold. (And, no, I’m not being melodramatic. It was awful for awhile.)

Meanwhile, my Maid of Honour found a few websites for paper lanterns, fairly inexpensive! I was talking to her about hoping we didn’t get too many:

Me: I saw a pic online somewhere - they only had the lanterns above the dance floor. Looked super cools! I kinda wanna go with that...otherwise, it'll just be LANTERNS ALL OVER

MoH: Oooo! Lantern room! Like the old ball rooms at Ikea when you threw your kids in so you can go shopping! "The guests look unhappy" "...Add more lanterns"

Me: I LOVE IT. You're right, MORE LANTERNS. Best visual - wedding guests, jumping in paper lanterns

I love my friends so much.

Weight-Loss Adventure

Errr...ahhh...hey, look at that flock of turtles! ...dagnabbit, I'll be honest. I totally quit Weight Watchers, but ONLY because of the money I needed to be saving instead for the wedding! I've slid a little, but I'm not going crazy. I mean, I know how awful I'd feel if I got into my wedding dress, and it was too snug. It'd be horrible! So, I'm reminding myself that I can do a lot of good or a lot of damage in 2 months – and I choose to do some good!!

My Journey to Toronto!

...job searching is hard!! I've been out of it for 4 years now, and I'm admittedly rusty. I now go home each night, and spend my time on my computer applying to as many jobs as I can. I've given my resume to our officiant, and I'm sure I have a lot of people praying that I find one soon. Honestly, I'm excited to start a new job, but I WILL miss my current co-workers! They're like my second family! Other than the strangest interview ever, I've not really had any other major prospects. One contact spent half an hour, emailing me back and forth before telling me that employers prefer their employees to be living closer by. Ummm...it would have been a half hour, 45-minute commute, on the highway. Whatever, bygones, moving on!

It is currently 12:25 AM, Thursday morning. I'm tired, and still need to be searching online for “natural makeup” examples for my 'maids. In bed by 1 AM, tops, I swear! (Thank goodness this weekend is a long holiday...I mean, fiance and I will be traveling, but it's to see friends, sooo...it'll be ok. I can spend the Monday sleeping! Woot!)

...ok, that's it. That's all I've got. Later!

I'm a Horrible Weight-Loser/Blogger

Oh, right, I'm supposed to keep up with this...

This week I gained nearly 5 pounds, but that's because I was on my ONLY vacation this year at the CCMR Jamboree. Now that I'm a week removed from the Jamboree, I gotta say, only 2.5 pounds were worth it. I'm not beating myself up by any means, just kinda wish that I'd been more dedicated to my weight-loss. I bought fruit and veggies - NEVER TOUCHED IT. Gah!

Whatever, back to the grind this week, which is actually really hard - I'm SO STRESSED about so much right now, I really want to just curl up in my bed with DVDs playing, and just eat comfort foods all day long. I know I should totally re-focus my energies on something non-food, like exercise, or reading, or blogging, or organizing my messy iTunes library...but I just have it so engrained in me to turn to food when I'm sad. Maybe this week is getting back on track AND starting to learn to walk away from the fridge?

Stay tuned!!

PS - my room is  mess, and I WILL take a pic, I swear - just gotta clean my room, and I'm away this weekend!

My Fiance and I Discuss Our First Dance Song Through Texting

Initially, we had Book of Love by Peter Gabriel as our first dance. However, Jim decided to veto that choice. So, now we're trying to figure out what song to use. We'll randomly say/text song titles, just to see what the other one thinks of it.

Jim: What about Grow Old with You by Adam Sandler?

Me: Hmmm...can we get Billy Idol to introduce it?

Jim: Yeah! LMAO

Me: Then YES. It only works with Billy Idol.

Jim: Hooray! We have our first dance song! I just wrote my wedding speech.

Me: ...I didn't actually agree to it :-P I might take a listen to some Star Wars stuff...You know, we COULD just use Heaven Coming Down.

Jim: Not a dance song.

Me: You're not a dance song...

Jim: 16 pages. I may have to edit...ROFLMAO

Me: Ummm...yeah. This isn't meant to be like, the Emancipation Proclamation. I know you love Lincoln and JFK, but no one wants a huge oration.

Jim: Heh heh, oral

Me: Siiigh. No long speeches! Why can't we have Book of Love? Peter Gabriel would be honoured, I'm sure!

Jim: Meh. Not as much of a fan now. It's kind of darker than I originally thought.

Me: Gaaahhh, FINE. I still cry when I see the Scrubs finale.

Jim: Me too.

Me: We should just use the Star Wars theme and hit each other with lightsabers.

Jim: LMAO done!

Me: ...except I'd almost certainly actually try and get a good shot in. You know, assert my authority in front of our friends.

Jim: Well, I think I can accommodate that and - Hey!

Me: Yeah, I'd get all dramatic, too, especially if it was Duel of the Fates.

Jim: Oh geez LMAO

Me: I'd force you to pull your hand into your sleeve and scream "Nooo!" and I'd go on about being your father. Or something.

Jim: LMAO oh baby.

Me: What if we learned a dance routine?

Jim: Nossum.

Me: You could be Fred Astaire! Or whatever!
Jim: ...N ur done

Me: No way dude. Just getting started! -GASP- We could do a montage of all the songs from our relationship! With a moving routine and everything! Not a dry eye in the place. Game, set, match.

Jim: Nossum!

Me: Hmph

(a few minutes pass)

Me: What about Dance of the Hours from Fantasia? The alligators (crocodiles?) and hippos! You could wear a jaunty red cape! And I get a tutu. We'd need major space to perform, but that's doable, I'm sure.

And then at this point I actually got a good idea, but that's a secret! The funny thing is, we'd picked Book of Love AGES ago, thinking we were so smart and getting ahead of the game. Some things, wedding-wise, don't need to be chosen until closer to the date. So, word of advice, I guess...get everything sorted, large to small first!

I Spent All Weekend Studying for a Math Test – I Walked Into An English Exam Monday Morning

Before I go any further, time for my Weight Loss Adventure Update! Hurrah!

I weighed-in last Thursday, July 19, and was up just 1.7 pounds. After being at my future in-laws for the weekend, and having one of the WORST weeks (actually, two weeks) I’ve ever lived through, I consider that a big win. In all honesty, I was totally expecting to be up at least a few pounds. So, not even 2 pounds gained? Sa-weeet! I’ll take it! This week is going to be tricky as well – I didn’t lay a good foundation this weekend, so now I’m playing catch-up, and hoping I can offset my not-bad/not-good choices.

(My not-bad/not-good choices include a DELICIOUS Resse Peanut Butter Chocolate cupcake on Friday for a co-workers birthday, late-night cheesy garlic bread and Sidekicks with my fiancé for dinner Saturday, a footlong turkey sub on whole wheat from Subway – no cheese, veggies, lite mayo, mustard – but with a combo bag of Baked Ketchup chips for Sunday lunch, then a late Sunday dinner with my fiancé of a Healthy Option Sesame Chicken and Rice frozen meal, a Dole Bagged Light Caesar salad, and a grilled Mediterranean chicken wrap from McDs. I’ve been so-so on the tracking, and really need to get my water in that I missed this weekend!)

I’m getting back on track today, but because I didn’t pre-make my dinners for the week, I’m resorting to Lean Cuisines (who apparently have some kinda deal with Weight Watchers, and they can post the Points Plus values on the containers! I always check, but it’s nice to have that ease of choice at the grocery store). I’m not forcing myself to exercise tonight though – I’ll do it tomorrow and I’ll be ok with it!

So, we have the weight-loss update covered…now, for the test!!

As of right now, I’m going to be a Mrs on October 6, and I’m SO JAZZED! Not only do I get to marry the most wonderful man, I get to apply for a new job in a new city!! (Ok, maybe I’m more jazzed about the marriage bit. The second part is all about being fiscally responsible in this day and age…also, I’d be a horrible stay-at-home mother. Don’t ask me how, I just would be. I’ll stay at home for my maternity leave and all, but I’m one of those people that get all wound up in things I’m exposed to for a long time…I fear I may start actually watching talk shows and bombarding my husband with, “OH MY GOODNESS, did you know we could save 2.3% of our heating bill if we learned to breathe slower and adapt to living with colder bodies?!” or something like that. My poor future children…they’ll be the kids at school with the mom that packs a Wet Nap in their lunches, and they MUST prove they used it before and after eating…or something. I mean, if you do that already, kudos to you! I just remember a day and age when I could sit at my desk with a jar of peanut butter and only 3 kids in the entire school would have to leave the building…maybe. Siiigh… I digress.)

Ok, yes, so, JOB HUNTING!!

I applied to a few places last week, and one called back with an interview offer! I was so excited! I got all my informational pieces together, updated things, and made sure to pick out my best business-y outfit. I mentally rehearsed my answers for the typical interview questions: “Name three strengths and three weaknesses,” “What was your proudest moment at your last job?” “Tell me a little about yourself.” You know, the usual. I talked with my fiancé about the answers, and he helped sort out what I was going to say.

I went to bed Sunday night totally nervous but giddy at the new prospect in the morning.

I woke up, fairly well rested, and ready to take action – I double-checked my driving instructions, watched the news for any possible road closures or natural disasters that may impede my getting there on time. I left in good time, and started my GPS on my phone, just to be safe:

GPS: At Whatever Street, turn left

Me: Ummm…no. My fiancé told me to turn left on Steeles.

GPS: (Rerouting) At Random Street, turn left

Me: …no. No, I’m turning left at Steeles!

GPS: (Rerouting) At Wrong Street, turn left

Me: Ok, seriously, GPS, I don’t need this!! Why can’t you just coach me on my interview, and let me take Steeles?! The last time I followed you instead of my written directions, I got lost and Fiance laughed at me and cursed you! Don’t you remember that!?

GPS: (Rerouting) At Incorrect Street, turn left

Me: AHHHHHH!!!!

This lasted for probably no more than 10 minutes, but it felt like forever. Just as I was losing hope that maybe my ma was wrong and the GPS was right, the GPS rerouted and FINALLY said, “At Steeles, turn left.” I breathed a huge sigh of relief, and turned left.

I then checked my clock, and the remaining time to my destination. I had 20 minutes to get to the interview on time – not with time to spare – and 22 minutes remaining on my directions. In Toronto traffic. Panic Mode, Car Edition: Yelling at other drivers, cursing everyone that isn’t carpooling (even though I wasn’t), and freaking out at every traffic light that I stopped at. Which was, of course, every single one. Of course.

I finally arrived at the company, but could not figure out where to park. (I flippin’ hate that. I need to learn to start asking “Are there special parking instructions?” for EVERY new place I go.) I guessed at a parking spot, and dashed in, almost forgetting my portfolio. I filled out a Visitor’s Sheet, got a nifty Visitor’s sticker, and sat down for two seconds. The Receptionist then tells me that my interviewer is in the NEXT building.

Siiigh.

I go to the next building, and of course it’s one of those places that have a door with a keypad, for employees only. Thankfully, a lady was just behind me, and knocked on the window for someone to let us in. I cautiously entered, hoping I wouldn’t have to stand around like a goon. Prayer answered! My interviewer was right there in a second, and whisked me to her office.

I opened with a little joke about listening to my fiancé verses my GPS, hoping to deflect any negative review on me JUST having arrived. She laughed, and I figured, “Ok, she laughed, just chill out and be cool and be yourself!” She opened up all her notes and the resume and cover letter I’d sent to her. I was ready – rushed, but I knew my Interview Instincts would kick in when the first question was posed.

“So,” she began, “Did you start college right after high school?”

“Uh, no, I went to college later. I worked full-time until college, starting with going from part- to full-time at my after-school job.”

“Ok, I see that here…you’ve had a number of jobs in that time,” she says, reading my resume. “Were you trying to find your niche?”

Find my niche? What? I know what a niche is, but I’ve never been asked that question. I felt like my GPS at that moment – “Rerouting.”

“Uhhh…” I stammered, trying to formulate my answer, “I uh, yeah. I left my first job because they started messing with my hours, after they’d promised me regular hours (this is true) and I just didn’t think I needed to put up with that anymore. So, started working mostly in customer service jobs, and it wasn’t until about here… (I pointed to a job entry on my resume) that I realized I wanted to go into Admin and focus on that.” Phew, I’m now hoping this answer is the only strange one I have to think of on the fly.

“Ok…and, you went to Niagara College for Office Administration?”

“Yes, I did.” I smiled extra-nice, to indicate that I loved this program. I truly did, and still do love my college course!

“What made you want to go to that course?” she asked.

“Well…” I started, pausing and rerouting again, “I’d been doing jobs that were ok, not great. I wanted to upgrade, and move on with my life. I’d always wanted to go into Admin, and my sister started college at the same time, so it all seemed perfect.” That answer was a little easier, because I had to say it time and time again when people found out I was going to college, “finally.”

“Ok, good...tell me, when we spoke on the phone, what made you want to interview with us?”

It was at this point I knew I'd stepped into some weird, alternate dimension of interviewing. I know you prep as best you can, and expect to think on your feet, but c'mon! I am horrible and lightning-quick reflexes, mental or physical. That's why I'll never be a true/viable ninja. It's a shame I live with every day.

“Well, uhhh...what did we talk about...” I hemmed and hawed, trying to buy thinking time. Ah-ha! “It was when I was telling you about my current job and my salary, and you said, 'Ah, you're ready for a change.'” I held my breath as she kinda smiled, then exhaled. I figured that was a good answer – I couldn't very well just blurt out, “I'm moving here to get married – I kinda can't rely on my husband alone to support us in these uncertain economic times!” That was more truthful, but less socially polite.

By now, my nerves are shot. I'm feeling waaayyy less confident, and I get asked if I have any questions. I asked about the company having an open-door policy – I was then asked to clarify my question, due to the general nature of it, and many managers throw the term “open door policy” around. At least I knew how to answer that. I (probably meekly) asked if she wanted to see my portfolio. She said sure, and I went through it as I'd rehearsed. However, looking back, I'm pretty sure that desperation was starting to become more evident in my voice – I'd lost all confidence in myself, and didn't know how to gain it back.

She ended the interview, telling me she had them all day long, and would call the next day if there was a need for me to return for a second interview. We shook hands, and I left the building. I promptly called my fiance, and answered his question of, “How did it go?” with “...I honestly don't know.”

Well, that was Monday. It is now Wednesday evening. I've had no phone call, so I'm going to make the assumption that, no, I did not get through to Round 2. Yesterday was agony, waiting and waiting, everyone being so positive that I'll get a callback. Today was less agony, more like, “Geez, what did I do wrong?!”

Most (if not all) jobs that I've interviewed for, I've gotten. However, this is not me just getting any job now – I'm an adult looking for my potential career. The stakes are higher. I can't just expect that what I did in interviews before will land me a job now. Sure, I'm a little bummed, but now I know that the rust is shaken off a little, so the next interview will be better!

My first order of business? Do a test-run of the route I'll take to the interview. Time it, then tack on 30-45 minutes extra, just to be safe! After I locate the place, I'll find a nearby Tim Horton's or Starbucks I can just chill out in until it's time to go.

It's hard, keeping the faith that things WILL work out. I know they will, but rejection in any form is never easy to swallow.

On the plus side, I can look forward to hangouts with my one bridesmaid for her hubby's birthday this weekend! That's always fun, hanging out with them and their friends. I can start packing more of my room up, and get organized for moving. I'll see my fiance on Sunday, and we'll talk more wedding plans, as well as plans for next weekend – our only “vacation” this year, a local Country Jamboree with his mom and step dad! (Loyal readers will remember me talking about this Jamboree as the one that the Melty Cupcake Story came from – there will be NO CUPCAKES this year!) Finally, I'll hopefully get some rest! I'm burning out a little, and that doesn't help matters when your room is getting smaller due to boxes that need to move out, or knowing you REALLY should be online and looking for jobs instead of dozing while your DVD of Arrested Development plays.

Ok – time for bed, and a good nights sleep! Tomorrow is another day, and I fully plan to meet it head on...oh, crud, I gotta weigh in tomorrow. Aw, geez...well, last-ditch effort – lots of water, and a fibre bar! Staying positive, whoo!!

Apology!

Hello! This post has been written entirely on my phone, so it's short and possibly less pretty (aka not formatted) than my other posts.
Firstly, a huge apology for my lack of being up-to-date with new posts-I have a fairly good reason, though! The week after my last post, I fell ill with the stomach flu. It was AWFUL. I actually took a day off work, the third time EVER that I've done so. Seriously. I'm all better now, thank you! So, I was too sick to post that week, and the other weeks have been BUSYBUSYBUSY. I'm actually awake at 5:20 AM on a Saturday doing this.
"So, how's the weight-loss going?" Thank you for asking! Very well! The stomach flu got rid of 3.3 pounds (although, I do not recomend it as a form of weight-loss) and this past week, I lost another 2! Exercise? Meeehhh...the week after my flu, I still wanted to go easy, and last week...I don't know, honestly. I was just strangely exhausted! But, each day is a new beginning, thankfully!
This past Wednesdsy was my birthday, and my parents took me out for dinner last night at this fantabulous Mexican restaurant-I attempted wise choices, but when they say, "Free dessert for birthdays!" and then tell you they serve something called a Cheesecake Burrito? Heck yes, you don't refuse that! Plus, you get to wear a sombrero! Ole! I had a chicken burrito-easy on the sour cream-and it comes with rice, refried beans, and a house salad. I did that whole "eat JUST enough all day to leave room (Points) for dinner" thing we all do, and since it WAS my Birthday Dinner, I felt only a little guilty. (Celebration Meals don't have calories, right? I read that somewhere...)
So, this week, especially since I "splurged" for one day, I have to be sure to get back on track today, and just be careful. Also, I REALLY should exercise. I'm going to aim for 30 mins, Monday-Friday from now on.
This week will be tough-a co-worker is on vacation, and when her position is covered, the task of "babysitting" the fill-in falls to me. I'm falling behind slightly in MY work, but you know, I'm an adult and have to take responsibility for MY actions. (I don't wanna! Hmph.) I think if I set a good foundation this weekend (get rested, eat healthy), then I should be able to accomplish my goals for the week: exercise each day for 30 minutes, and don't sabotage my healthy eating because of my Birthday Dinner and/or stress. In doing this, I hope to either lose a little, stay the same, or maybe go up a little (I know there's only 3 ways your weight can go, but essentially, a week where I hover near my weight from last week after eating the piece of Heaven that is a Cheesecake Burrito? Score!). Oh, I'm also at my future in-laws this weekend-so, I know I'll be eating well and fairly healthy, but there's still that feeling that I don't wanna refuse food. Especially if it's good, old-fashioned country cooking! Thank goodness my in-laws don't keep treats like baked goods and such in the house-I'd be a goner!
Well, that's all for now. I need sleep, so I will catch up with y'all later!
:-)

Start Over

OK! Here goes! No more excuses! Put the pedal to the metal! Carpe diem!

This year is a big year for me. I knew that on January 1^st of this year. (Well, ok, really, I knew it December 10, 2011 – I got engaged that evening, and had a feeling we’d agree that the wedding would be next year.) So, yes, getting married in October! Woot!

My fiancé lives in Toronto; I live in St. Catharines. He was born in TO, and has lived most of his life there. He LOVES Toronto. He’s happier there than I am here. Ergo, I’m moving out of my parent’s house for the first time into my home that I’ll eventually share with my future husband sometime in the next few months. Moving/My First Place! Woot!

With the moving will come a change of workplace scenery – I’ll be starting my job hunt up there soon. New job! Woot!

Additionally (and, to not sound/be self-centered) there are a lot of changes AROUND me – my brother and his wife had their third little boy, so now I’m an Auntie to four nephews and a niece! Our family got two Airedales who are just awesome. We’re truly an Airedale family! One of my closest friends is probably moving to Vancouver later this year in pursuit of her dream of being an actress, which is all kinds of happy and sad. Happy, because I admire her spirit/bravery for doing that, but sad because I’ll miss her being close by! Another close friend has not one, but TWO bands she’s in, and both are doing pretty darn well! A lot of people close to me have finished schooling, and are starting their careers, and I’m so proud of them all. When I look forward to Christmas, I realize that it’ll be the first time I’ll have to co-ordinate with my family for coming down to see them and the rest of the crew!

So, as you can see, this is a big year. Now, to the point of this post…

I joined Weight Watchers for the 2^nd (and LAST) time in November of 2010. I was at my heaviest I’ve ever been, and almost cried at the scale. My first week, I lost 5 pounds! I was so excited! I kept doing well, with minor setbacks, and was well on the road to my goal weight, 80 pounds less than what I weighed. Well, by Summer 2011, I started to slip a little – a weekend away here, a stressful day at work there, and before I knew it, the weight that I’d lost was being found again.

Essentially, I blew my entire Summer – 8 weeks where I could have really made progress, but instead, made excuses. Finally, around October, I started smartening up, and got my focus back. “NEXT Summer, I’ll be closer to my goal!”

Well, it’s the start of Summer this week, and I’m back up around where I started last Summer at, maybe more. I was doing well for awhile, but got lax and lazy, and yeah.

To my credit, I HAVE been exercising – admittedly, probably not as hard/much as I should be, but I’m making that effort daily. I think that my body might be changing shape, but not dropping weight at this point.

Really, when I look at it, I have three major obstacles in my way:

1) Weekends! These are when I get to see my fiancé, either for one day, or all weekend. Obviously, we’ll need to eat at some point. He keeps saying he wants to lose weight, too, and that’s awesome! However, on average, one weekend a month, we’re travelling somewhere, or busy busy busy – so, eating right and healthy gets a little tricky/annoying. Yes, I could prepare a light Caesar salad with skinless chicken breast, maybe a little sweet treat of light Cool Whip and frozen fruit afterwards and water. But, but, but…I’m exhausted, and his leftover Chinese noodles are RIGHT THERE.

2) Linking to my last point, I am a LAAAZZZYYY BONES. So lazy. My first thought when I get free time is, “I could sleep!!” The thought of preparing meals that are weight-loss friendly is all well and good, but geez Louise, I gotta prep, cook, portion, and clean up EACH WEEK? Can’t I live off SmartOnes and Lean Cuisine and bagged light Caesar salads? …no? What did you say about my sodium intake?

3) Finally, linking to the first two points, money. Holy moly, eating healthy is pricey. Not crazy expensive, but fruit and veggies go bad quick!

Yes, when I think about these things all at once, I get depressed/frustrated/defeatist/angry. It’s tough!

But, I’ve had enough. I have roughly:

- 2 weeks before a friends’ pool party

- 3 weeks before my 10^th High School Reunion

- 6 weeks before my only “vacation” this year (and it’s just a long weekend away)

- 9 or 10 weeks before a friends’ wedding

- 15 weeks before my wedding

Also, there’ll probably be a few wedding-related shindigs, and other events over the coming weeks.

Right now, my goal is to be down 16 pounds from my current weight for the wedding. Theoretically, I should have been closer to it by now, or even past it. But, no, we’re starting over now! I stayed late at my Weight Watchers meeting to feel like I was joining for the first time. There were a few Newbies at the meeting, so that helped in feeling like I was starting fresh.

The phrase they concentrated on last night was about choice, and I thought to myself, “It’s so true – I CHOOSE what I put in my mouth.” Food doesn’t grow legs and crawl into your mouth – and, if it does, you haven’t cooked it properly, or you’re in a horror movie. Either way, start running.

So, how do I combat the Big Three Issues I listed above?

1) Weekends: make the effort EVERY weekend to stock my car/purse/fiancé’s fridge with healthy options – more than likely, it’ll be fruits, and veggies. Inexpensive, healthy meals aren’t a big problem if we’re at his place. Like I said, it’s when I’m hungry/tired, and his leftovers are calling to me. Even grabbing a few apples for the ride up and the ride back could help!

2) Lazy Bones: As Nike has told us for years now, JUST DO IT. The weeks that I get up off my butt and prep my meals and make it Excuse-Proof I find are the ones that go smoother. If I leave things to chance or last-minute…it gets dicey. Yeah, I can eat WHATEVER I want, but to me, if I’m eating fast food and it’s not a “special” treat, meh. Just isn’t worth it. Plus, I get to practice cooking/baking the weeks I plan ahead. (I made a Lemon Mayonnaise pasta dish, as well as a 3-Bean Salad a few weeks ago – holy moly, TASTY. SOOO making them both for my friends pool party!)

3) Money: This one is a wee bit out of my hands, since there is no chance I’m getting a raise or winning the lottery or finding out a long-lost family member died and left me with a sizeable inheritance. I won’t lie, this week sucker-punched me, money-wise. Being a grown-up sucks. However, I gotta start being REALLY careful about my spending. I signed up for e-mail flyers from grocery stores I frequent, and one of the stores lets you create a Shopping List of items you usually buy. It’ll notify you (I hope) when they go on sale, so that’ll be good. Little more time, but if I can save some money and know where my foodie faves are on sale, BONUS!

Alright, now for the truly open part of the blog – what Weight-Loss Blog would be complete without the Before/After pictures?! I totally cringe to share these (who wouldn’t?)  but I have tried losing weight a few times now, and have never done pics. Here we go:

I may take them with the mirror in front of the window next time. I’m thinking that I’ll do these once a month, and maybe when I start fitting into my older clothes that are so sad and lonely in my closet.

I just realized how long this post is – I’m sorry! Just a little more to go!

I’ve been exercising nearly daily for the last few weeks, roughly 10 or 15 minutes at a time. Since the recommended about of exercise is 150 minutes a week – 30 minutes for 5 days, or just over 20 minutes every day – I’m going to up my intensity AND time spent to 20 minutes Monday-Friday, with increases every week. Also, I really need to discipline myself to do it in the morning, so I don’t have to be at work and thinking about how I STILL have to exercise when I get home.

So, for this week:

1) Exercise daily for 20 minutes, at get to a point where I at least break a sweat

2) Track (write down) EVERYTHING I eat – that includes measuring and calculating the PointsPlus Values, using the Weight Watchers calculator

3) Get my needed water in daily

Challenges?

- my friends birthday! Happy Birthday!! Shouldn’t be too hard – she’s having a BBQ/get-together at her place, then heading off to a little pub/bar afterwards. I’m covering a shift at work that day, so I’ll have to brown bag my lunch – I’ll just fill up on healthy eats, and be able to really enjoy the BBQ eats and treats, and a few light beers. I have an action-plan, I’m good to go! (Heaven help me if her mom was able to make her famous potato salad – BEST potato salad ever, so not exaggerating!) At the end of the day, I’m more excited to spend time with my friend than to stress over food.

- I mentioned how this week was horrible, money-wise. Stress makes me crave comfort foods – I’ll just have to maybe stock up on wise choices and have them available to me all week. A good start? Weight Watchers just brought out Coffee Cake squares, and they are fantabulous. Oh my goodness. Even my fiancé loves them! If I have time, I might attempt a healthy recipe in bulk to have at the ready as well.

Ok, this post is uber-long. I’m done now, I swear. Just one more pic – it’s a printout of a picture I cannot seem to find right now of me at my lowest weight. I’m on the left, and the picture is posted as part of an inspiration collage around my mirror. That was 2006, and I was at my lowest weight – SLIGHTLY bobble-headed, yes, but overall, healthy, active, and HAPPY (not to mention super-hot, rawr!). I will get back to that weight, I will!

And thus begins the Magical Weight-Loss Adventure!

The Cupcake Diva Lives!

If you haven’t noticed, I’m kinda big on cupcakes. Like, if I was Picasso, my canvases would be all cupcake-y and messed up and DELICIOUS. I work in the medium of cupcakes. I’m known to friends as the Cupcake Diva…ok, this is getting a little self-absorbed. Moving on…

The following is a story of cupcake anticipation, heartbreak, and redemption. Seriously, people, there could be an Oscar-winning movie from this tale. …or, at least, a very entertaining sub-plot on a sitcom…or, maybe an hour-long dramedy, like The O.C.

My fiance, Jim, comes from a very musically talented family. His mother used to sing in a country group that consisted of her younger siblings and father, and eventually she made her act a solo one. She now tours the local Country Jamborees in northern Ontario, singing for a few shows during the summer months. These jamborees are usually weekend events, and draw a very loyal fanbase. The people that go to these shows religiously all know each other, and become like a second family in some cases. It’s a very down-to-earth, relaxing, and fun way to spend a weekend.

One of the big weekends is the CCMR Jamboree, and Jim’s mom was one of the acts at the show. She and her husband bring the RV up to each show, and had asked Jim and me to join them if we could for the weekend. It was also the weekend that a friend of theirs was having a wedding anniversary – they’d been married at the CCMR Jamboree a few years ago, so there was a little party to be planned for that day. We were asked to maybe make some cupcakes, or at least bring a dessert to contribute to the potluck meal.

This is the point in my head where I think “Future-in-laws + my cupcake skills = more love for MEEE!!” (I was already in well with my future-in-laws, but I always like to do my best with/for those I love.) Extra brownie (cupcake?) points never hurt.

I set to work making lovely, country music-themed cupcakes. See, pictures!

Gorgeous, no?

I figured that the cupcakes would be eaten by the next day that we arrived, so I wasn’t too concerned about them holding up. I have a cupcake carrier that safely stores 24 of the treats, and I thought if I left them in the RV, they wouldn’t get too soft and gooey. (The fridge in the RV was way too small to hold the container, and I didn’t feel like putting 24 cupcakes into a million smaller Tupperware containers.)

I also had brought a cute little stand for the cupcakes – this was gonna be awesome! “Wow, that Jenn is so good with cupcakes – she truly is the Cupcake Diva!” they would all cry out.

Well, it turns out we didn’t need the cupcakes until the third day there. I should have asked if there was a large fridge somewhere, but didn’t think to – a lot goes on at these Jamborees and I get distracted easily. Ask anyone that knows me. It’s like jingling keys in front of an infant at times…Hey! My Kleenex box is blue with butterflies on it! Cool!

I went to check on my sugary creations the day of the Anniversary Party – they were starting to melt a wee bit, but were still ok, as long as they were consumed in the next while. I figured, just to be safe, I really should store them in a fridge if possible. I asked Jim’s mom if there was a fridge available, and she went and checked – there was. I didn’t want other people finding my cupcakes and eating them, so I asked if we could put a label of some kind on the container. Jim’s mom decided that it’d be best to put two grocery bags over the container, and write her name on the bags. Perfect!

Gingerly, she slid one side into the grocery bag, no problems. Getting the second bag on was a little tricky, and I was working around it…

…at this point, the lady whose anniversary party was starting soon came in the RV to help set up things. She noticed my struggle, and offered to help. “Sure!”

This is where everything goes in slow-motion.

Instead of guiding the container into the second grocery bag, she turned the entire thing on its side, and shook, shook, SHOOK the container into the second bag. I gasped, but stifled any more cries, as I didn’t want to have a childish outburst. Thank goodness for Jim’s mom – she saw the whole thing and knew right away what had happened. “Here, I’ll go take these to the fridge” she said, gently taking the container away from the Cupcake Killer.

“Umm, I can take them!” I meekly offered.

“No no, dear, you stay here, I’ll be right back, ok?”

“Ok.”

I walked like a robot towards Jim, who took one look at my face. “Oh no, honey, are you ok?”

I couldn’t take it – I was hot, tired, thirsty, and my cupcakes were ruined – I couldn’t have saved them! I burst into tears, and attempted to explain my sudden change of emotion in between sobbing gasps. I finally got the story out, and Jim did his best to comfort me.

Well, I was having none of it. When the cupcakes returned, they looked AWFUL. Just atrocious. I was sent into another fit, claiming that these cupcakes could NOT be served to the public, despite everyone telling me it didn’t matter – they would still taste amazing!

I didn’t care what they tasted like! Do you people not realize how long it takes me to make my cupcakes?! These are like my children!!

I spent the next few hours pouting, but being socially polite. I eventually had to take an angry nap to feel a bit better. My fiance was very supportive through all this, and his mother was equally nice about it. While I appreciated the kindness, I vowed never to make cupcakes again – the Cupcake Diva had retired.

Over the next few months, people would ask me, “When are you making more cupcakes?” “Are you making Christmas cupcakes?” “Why are you crying over a Google search of ‘cupcakes?’” I would recount my tale of woe, of cupcakes lovingly hand-crafted, then destroyed in one swift motion. Finally, one of my friends had had enough of my frosting-covered self-pity.

“Listen, do you think NASA quit when Apollo 13 happened? No! They kept on making spaceships! …you should totally make spaceship cupcakes.”

While that didn’t set a fire under my butt to rush out and make spaceship cupcakes, it certainly stuck in my brain – I had grieved my cupcake-y loss long enough. When the time was right, I would know – it’s time to bring the Cupcake Diva back.

Fast-forward a few months, and it’s my fiance's birthday. There was a change in the air – the time was right. The time was right…for cupcakes.

I made him a batch of Star Wars cupcakes. I was pleased at how they turned out, after my absence from cupcake-making.

I was hoping that I’d be able to share them with our friends, but the weekend we spent celebrating his birthday got very busy, so they remained untouched. I didn’t mind – he had seen them, and loved them, and I was happy. After I posted the pictures online, one of my friends sent me a message – “You really should have your own bakery. Seriously.” Another friend told me her daughters loved my Facebook cover picture - a close-up of some colourful cupcakes I'd made awhile back.

As a perfect ending to the tale, we had returned to Jim's place at the end of the weekend. I was grabbing things out of my car to take into the house, and I had my cupcake container in one hand. I can’t remember how it happened, but all of a sudden, I lost my grip, and the container ended up sideways. I quickly righted the container, and looked at my cupcakes – still pretty okay looking, but a few had seen better days.

“Oh no,” I moaned, “I CCMR’d your birthday cupcakes!”

And then, I laughed. I laughed at my silly joke, and laughed that I didn’t care they didn’t look so great.

I know I should end this post all enlightened, knowing there's more to life than cupcakes, that I should be able to be chill when adversity strikes! To be honest, I can't say conclusively that I won't have another tragedy, cupcake-wise and not freak out. At the very least, I've learned to only produce cupcakes a) when I can devote/find the time, and b) when I KNOW they'll be appreciated. I spent so much time last year making cupcakes for every reason, once I reached Christmas, I was burned out. Like they say, it's not always quantity, but quality - that's what I'm focusing on right now! My next task - conquer cake pops!

(And, woohoo, I already have a request in September for a friend's birthday cupcake design! That gives me enough time to think, plan, then create!)

VIKINGS!

Hello, again! (Or, Hello! if you're a first-timer here.)

I'd go on and apologize about my lack of postings, but then I realized it would sound really self-absorbed - I mean, I'm not, like, The Bloggess or Hyperbole and a Half. Now THOSE are legit blogs that are AWESOME and make me laugh so hard I pee...sometimes...

Anyhoo, I've recently been inspired to really do something creative, and while I do have many avenues in which to let my creativity flourish, I decided that writing would serve me best at this juncture in my life. After much debating, I finally decided on what my (not) first blog post will be! So, here we go!

About 2 months ago, I got a text from a friend of my fiance's (oh, yes, I got engaged, huzzah!! Sorry, you'd think I would be all about posting that, but you get engaged, and then you suddenly have NO TIME for ANYTHING...wow, I'm totally going off-topic here. Start over!)

About 2 months ago, I got a text from a friend of my fiance's, and she and I have become really close. Like, close enough that she's helping in a big way for planning the wedding! She's married, so she knows what to expect, and she lives in Toronto, which is where the wedding will take place. Very handy! I like to describe her as me, but raised with really liberal parents – we approach things in a similar way, but with different backgrounds. It's awesome.

She wanted to get together for more wedding-planning talk, and some Girl Time. Coincidentally, she had two free tickets to a Led Zeppelin tribute band, and wanted to know if I wanted to go with her. “Heck, yes!” I replied. “Between you and Jim (my fiance), my musical knowledge will be completed!!” I was very excited, especially after I did a quick YouTube search of “Led Zeppelin songs”...after I read the Wikipedia entry on them. (What? I wanted to be informed.)

In my defense, I only became a fan of The Doors after Jim got me into them about 2 years ago. I know enough about music and musical history to get by, but in some cases, I'm that girl going, “Oh, THIS is Such and Such? I love this song!” I came to the Music Party a little late in life, but on the plus side, I caught up really fast and can hold my own in most conversations about musical topics.

So, after realizing that I do indeed like Whole Lotta Love and Black Dog (I already loved Immigrant Song...Stairway to Heaven? Still debating. I feel it's not as epic as everyone makes it out to be), I was super-stoked to hang with Cole AND talk wedding AND see a tribute band I'd more than likely really enjoy!

Cut to Cole and myself at the show, trying to talk over the opening band, self-described as...what was it? Classic Rock ScreaEmo? Blues-y ScreaEmo? Something Awesome ScreaEmo. It was AWFUL. Finally, the ear-violating band was done, and we could talk again. I was getting more and more excited for the band to start playing, and transport me to another place. After the show, I would emerge, more...enlightened, musically. I'd maybe not be a die-hard fan, but I would certainly want the Best of Led Zeppelin in my CD collection.

The lights started dimming, and it was time!! The Led Zep Tribute Band Show was about to start! I was giddy with anticipation! Oh my goodness, is that...IT IS! THE IMMIGRANT SONG!

“VIKINGS!” I yelled enthusiastically. (This is because the song IS about Vikings, and there was a picture on the screen of a Viking ship. Cole later told me I yelled loud enough to freak out some 40-year-old guy standing near me, who ended up moving away from me.)

We moved up closer and really got into the whole “Ahhhhhh-ah!” part of the song. This night was gonna be magical, I could tell. Solid start to the show...I mean, I was a little curious as to why they'd start with such a bona fide crowd-pleaser, but hey, I'm not a performer.

I couldn't tell you what the 2^nd song was...or the 3^rd...or the 4^th. By this point, my enthusiasm had waned to the point where I was more interested in looking around the venue at the older folks re-living their rock-and-roll days (and, judging by the clothes and actions, some still hadn't left those days). It may seem quick to lose interest, but you have to realize – Led Zeppelin songs are not 3 minutes long for easy radio play. No, these songs are usually about 5 minutes, PLUS. So, we're nearing the 40 minute mark into a show, and Cole and I only recognized 1 song.

It was at this point that the singer started to talk a bit about the band. He then told us that the band is currently doing a tour for EACH Led Zeppelin CD. It was like one of those movie-moments where the camera focuses on your face, coming in for a close-up, and everything is moving quickly around you.

“What?” was all we could say. This tribute band wasn't going to be playing all the hits and some fan faves! Oh no, they were HARDCORE – they were doing EACH CD in its entirety! And touring for EACH CD!

Because I'm endlessly socially polite, I stood there with a forced smile on my face. Cole turned to me and said, “If you wanna leave, that's ok. These tickets were free. I won't care.”

I hemmed and hawed (trying to be polite), but my resolve broke - “YES. Let's get outta here!!”

We ventured outside, and I should probably mention at this point that most of Canada has had a VERY mild Winter this year. We've had some snow, but it's generally melted in no more than 2 days, and it's been very tolerable, temperature-wise. Well, naturally, that evening was one of the rare cold days. And when I say cold, I mean, like, you NEED gloves and a scarf because you WILL get frostbite kinda cold. Cole and I knew we'd be having a few beers, so we opted for public transportation. Of course, the bus does not go near the venue – we had to walk about 20 minutes to get to the bus stop, with a Canadian Winter Wind biting at us, both ways. We got into the bus stop booth to stay a little wamer, and Cole checked the schedule.

“Uh oh,” she said, pulling out her cell. “I'm gonna call my husband...” She called to ask him to go online and check the bus route times. Turns out, we would be waiting for about 30 minutes at that point in the evening.

She thanked him, and hung up the phone. “Well,” she started, “we have two options. We can stand here for 30 minutes, and hopefully the bus shows up, or we start walking and catch a bus sooner.” We decided walking would keep us warm, and give us the feeling like we were accomplishing something. So, we started marching. I don't know how we did it without passing out, but we made it to another bus stop – we walked through un-shoveled walkways, unfamiliar areas, and kept up a brisk pace while talking. I couldn't feel parts of my body, but after all that exercise, I knew I had earned a cheeseburger. Thankfully, Cole felt the same.

We stumbled into her house, teeth chattering and joints stiff. It was decided that Cole would drive us to the nearest subway station so Jim and I could head home. We stopped at a McDonalds to satiate the Cheeseburger Cravings, naturally, because you don't ignore the Cheeseburger Cravings.

That's pretty much the story. I slept with my clothes still on because my legs hadn't warmed up in the travel from Cole's place to Jim's. My Quarter Pounder with Cheese was awesome, in that special way that food eaten when you're drunk/way too hungry/craving that specific food is awesome.

I guess if you wanted a moral of the story, it'd be that free tickets do not always equal awesome shows/events/whatever the tickets are for. Also, memorize your city's public transit schedule, and plan your escape accordingly.

...although, now that I think about it...Cole and I ventured out somewhere slightly unknown to us...had some beers...realized this is not the place for us, so we left...braved the cold...and noshed on delicious dead animals like champs. So, maybe I was on to something when I yelled “VIKINGS!” earlier in the evening!

...I'm some kind of Classic Rock Psychic!